I am confusing myself.
There are so many sides of me nowadays - one is impatient,wanting time to move faster. Another is calm,rested and logical,wishing that time can stop for a moment so I can absorb the good moments & the rest are just walking in different directions altogether.
Growing older is odd,really.
And then there is this new attitude I have which is so out of MY norm - having a negative outlook towards socializing or any humanly form of contact.
Being the person that I am,I'm all for meeting new people but recently I prefer seclusion,only wanting to spend time alone and with those who matter. I have a theory that perhaps I've been too much of a chatterbox these past few years that I'm just plain exhausted now,sigh. So recently,I've started appreciating the warmth of my room,excessive Whatsapp notifications from the family group especially my parents (I mean they ask what we do everyday you might as well just send them daily reports complete with footnotes and everything already...) and some alone time with my thoughts.
I prefer seclusion so much that I sometimes get texts from those around me asking me if I'm okay or if I'm still breathing in real-life bcoz my social media's up and running BUT I'm just nowhere to b seen nowadays,haha.
But seriously,I personally believe that a period of seclusion is what everyone needs to recharge and rethink of the things you want in life and y you're doing what you do. It's the right time to re-check your intentions and look back on what you've done and re-evaluate everything altogether. For these past few months it's been so hectic for me that now when I have time to re-think,I really,REALLY re-think. Especially about life in general - what now,what's next,how do I get there etc.
And then there is also this other side of me who clings on to whatever it is that makes me feel that life is worth living - loved ones,experiences gained,achievements and memories......................
I pray that patience will forever b one of my strongest traits. Whatever it is that is meant for me,will always find its way. I also pray that He will always grant me mercy,guidance and strength,thru and thru,to b the best that I can b,insyaAllah.