18th August 2015 12:35am
As I watched from afar,my heart sways weakly back and forth. I found myself smiling despite the tears that ran down my cheeks. I asked myself every single day,will this ever go away? I feel like some black demon has latched itself onto my back and eats my soul away crucially slowly and left me with nothing but emptiness. No one will ever understand this torturous feeling except me.
Shaking my head,I decided to ignore the heavy feeling I had in my heart. If I continue to ponder over this,I will b more miserable. And I do not want to add any more depression on my shoulders. And I also realized that I am not as cheerful as I used to b when I was younger anymore. Whose fault is this? No one but mine. And should I b complaining about this terrible feeling? No. Yet here I am,pouring out every drunken soul of mine. But like I said,I still find myself smiling from ear to ear despite the fact that everyone else is happy but me. I know you must b more confused by this remark that I am making bcoz even I myself am confused. Literally,what am I saying? I'm breaking my life apart yet I'm still smiling? I must b out of my mind. Is that even sensible and acceptable? Well,perhaps it does. Maybe it doesn't apply to every normal human beings but it does to me. And that's y as I said earlier,no one will ever understand this messed up feeling that I am fighting against. So please,keep your negativity thoughts to yourself bcoz no one is perfect. And I am definitely not.
As I watched from afar,my heart shatters into millions of tiny pieces like glass. Again and again...